Managing performance anxiety in children during exam periods

Understand what's really happening

Performance anxiety is the fear of failure, of being judged, or of not living up to expectations: their own, their parents', or those perceived from the teacher. It is particularly common in perfectionist children, those who have experienced a significant failure, or those who place a lot of value on their academic success.

Concretely, this anxiety can manifest itself in several ways:

• Physical complaints without identifiable medical cause: stomach aches, headaches, nausea before exams
• Difficulty sleeping or nightmares during assessment periods
• Unusual crying, tantrums, or regressive behaviors
• Procrastination or refusal to start studying
• Negative self-talk: "I'm useless," "I'm going to fail," "I'm not good"
• Complete mental block when faced with a question, even a familiar one

Recognizing these signs is the first step to intervening in a helpful way.

What parents sometimes do without realizing it

Before talking about solutions, it's worth pausing on certain well-intentioned parental behaviors that can inadvertently amplify anxiety:

• Saying "You'll succeed, don't worry," without validating the child's emotion
• Insisting on the consequences of a bad result, even subtly
• Comparing to another child's results, a brother's or sister's
• Supervising revisions too intensively, creating additional pressure
• Expressing their own exam anxiety in front of the child

None of these behaviors come from bad intentions, but they send a message that success is conditional, which feeds precisely what the child fears.

Concrete strategies to help

Welcome the emotion before moving on to solutions

When a child expresses anxiety, the first reaction should be to acknowledge what they are feeling, not to immediately reassure them. "I see you're really stressed about this exam" is much more valuable than "Oh no, it'll be fine." A child who feels heard is much more receptive to the strategies that follow.

Bring the stakes back to their proper proportion

Without minimizing the importance of school, help the child put exams into perspective. An exam is a partial and temporary measure of what one knows at a specific time, not a judgment on their worth or intelligence. Talking openly about your own experiences of failure and what you learned from them can be particularly liberating for a child.

Structure revisions to reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed

Anxiety grows when one feels overwhelmed. Helping the child break down their revisions into small, clear, and more manageable steps can significantly reduce this feeling. An hour of revision divided into 20-minute blocks with short breaks in between is much more effective, and less anxiety-inducing, than a long, exhausting session.

Value effort, not results

This is a simple but transformative principle: praise the child for the work put in, the perseverance, and how they managed their stress, regardless of the grade obtained. A child who learns that effort is valued develops a much healthier relationship with failure and learning.

Take care of the body as much as the mind

Sleep, diet, and physical activity have a direct impact on the ability to manage stress. During exam periods, resist the temptation to cut physical activities to "have more time to study"; it's often counterproductive. A child who gets enough sleep and moves retains information better and manages their emotions better.

When to consult a professional

If your child's anxiety is intense, persistent, and significantly interferes with their daily functioning (very disturbed sleep, refusal to go to school, repeated tantrums), it may be helpful to talk to their doctor or a mental health professional. Performance anxiety is well treated when interventions are early, and asking for help is always a good idea when necessary.