Self-esteem, one step at a time: tips and tricks to build and nurture it

One log at a time

From a very young age, our kids amaze us with their feats, everything they learn, their new skills and their successes, big and small. Parents are often quick to congratulate them when something comes easily to them, and that’s a good thing, but there are also other little tricks, words and gestures you can use to feed your kids’ “fire”.

Respect them, just as you want them to respect you

Using “I” statements may sound like a cliché, but it can be a great way to make communication easier while teaching mutual respect. A warm, comforting home where everyone gets along makes a child feel very secure.

Give them new challenges

Get your child to try new situations and new things. Some can be simple, so they experience success and feel proud of it, while others can be a bit more “challenging.” The goal isn’t for them to pass with flying colors, but rather for them to try, or simply be exposed to something new, so that next time is a little easier and they can see that they’re improving and able to accomplish new things. Little by little, they’ll realize that what may have seemed insurmountable is becoming less and less so, and they’ll get a huge sense of satisfaction from it! It also takes them out of their comfort zone, and they’ll probably be more willing to face all kinds of situations and to take risks.

Ask for their advice and show them they matter

Little questions like “What do you think of...?”, “I’ll let you choose...” or “Do you think...?” are easy to work into everyday life and can help your child develop healthy self-esteem. It makes them feel important and sends the message that their opinion is truly valued. That’s no small thing. Why not let your child pick the apples or kiwis on your next trip to the grocery store? Talking with them about what they’re going through and about their day-to-day life is also positive, because they feel that you’re paying attention and that they matter in the household.

Encourage them again and again

We can never say it enough: all our encouragement, big and small, the little pats on the back, the compliments, the “I love yous,” the smiles, the winks and all those little signs of affection and attention help build self-esteem.

Help them get to know themselves better

We all have our strengths and weaknesses. And when your child runs into a difficulty, it can help to remind them that this may not be their strong suit, but that they’re good at other things, and that’s perfectly fine. You can be a role model by talking about a situation where you didn’t shine at all and showing that it’s no big deal! We are role models for our children. We’re the first people they rely on and model themselves after, and that applies to our glorious moments as well as the slightly less flattering ones.

Foster a sense of pride

Pointing out how far your child has come over the past few months, weeks or days can not only make them proud of themselves, but also help them realize that they’ve grown and made progress. Getting something right rarely happens in the blink of an eye, and that’s perfectly okay. After all, it’s the whole journey toward the goal that counts, that really matters, and that will make your little one even prouder. The effort put in, commitment, perseverance, patience and helping one another, in small doses and large, build character, and they also bring a lovely sense of pride!

To celebrate your children’s wins, qualities and efforts in a concrete way, you can give them these pride tickets, which they can treasure in their self-esteem pouch, seeing for themselves that they’re capable of so many things!

Finally, here are a few telltale signs, five of each, that point to...

Low self-esteem:

• Being quick to say “I’m good for nothing!” or “I’m hopeless!” when you run into a difficulty; in short, putting yourself down

• Being wary of others

• Avoiding new situations

• Getting angry quickly

• Having trouble accepting compliments

• Knowing your likes & interests

• Smiling often

• Making friends easily

• Enjoying trying new activities

• Trusting yourself and trusting others

To wrap up...

Let’s not forget that we’re our children’s number one role models. So let’s go easy on ourselves and strengthen our own self-esteem as best we can. As a family, why not each find a quality, a talent, an area that gives you a hard time or something you like about yourself? It may sound easy, but it’s quite a challenge, isn’t it?

Would you like first access to all the content published in the Magazine each month, plus our Toolbox, which includes, among other things, free downloads that are as practical as they are fun? Subscribe to Belles Combines Magazine today!