Eating together as a family: a habit to adopt!

19 September, 2019

Every parent wants to raise good eaters. We all try our best to vary the meals we offer, and we hope our children will love all these good foods. That said, even before making efforts to try to change or improve the content of our plates and those of our children, there is one thing we must make sure to do: to raise good eaters, we must take the time to eat together. Eating meals as a family is as important as what is served. It is also proven that family meals are beneficial for both the physical and mental health of everyone. Yes, we would like our children to eat more vegetables and try fish. But what if the solution was simply to eat together?

Meal and Snack Schedule

Parents have to make 1001 decisions related to food: choosing and preparing food, providing a healthy eating environment, ensuring meals are varied and balanced, etc. The Ellyn Satter Institute, a reference in the field of children's eating behaviors, suggests sharing responsibilities in this way: parents should be responsible for what, when, and how, and children should control how much, meaning the quantity they wish to ingest, respecting their appetite. Beyond food choices, it is also up to parents to choose meal times. This latter decision is very important. Parents know the schedule of daily activities, commutes to work, and bedtime. They also know their children's appetite (it's slower in the morning, they're very hungry after daycare, etc.). It's also important to remember that a child, with their smaller stomach, can hardly eat a large meal and not be hungry for five to six hours. In general, therefore, meals should be planned every five hours, and a snack a maximum of three hours after the meal.

Meal Structure = Security

It is important to establish a meal and snack structure so that the child feels secure that food will always be available to satisfy their hunger. This will allow them to respect their bodily signals, as they will not fear running out of food at meals or between them. With a stable meal schedule, they know that their hunger will be satisfied at breakfast, then at snack time, then at lunch, and so on. This also ensures that children arrive at meals with moderate hunger, not extreme or non-existent, which can happen if there have been several snack periods between two meals that are too far apart.

Tips for Establishing Family Meals

  • Consider everyone's schedule and find common ground
So that you can finish lunches at the same time, breakfast can be taken as a family at the lunch counter. However, if dinner is often eaten on the go due to extracurricular activities, it would be good to plan a seated breakfast together, to replace the famous family dinner time. For dinner, if one parent comes home too late from work and the children can't wait because they are too hungry, it would be better to have dinner with the children rather than letting them eat alone and waiting for the other parent to sit down at the table.
  • Turn off all screens
Meals are for family, and screens are not invited! It is often around meals that the best memories are created, and we bond with children: no cell phones, no tablets, and no television!
  • Talk about something other than the meal
While family meals should be a time for sharing and enjoyment, this is not always the case with younger children. Even if they don't talk much about their day, ask them questions and also tell them about your own day.
  • Let go of concerns about the quality of the meal and the quantity of food eaten by children
It's best to avoid making comments if children eat little. Instead of saying "eat" or "taste your soup," emphasize that it's really good: it's up to the child to taste it or not. In short, if you talk about the meal, do it positively!
  • Stay seated

Ask everyone to remain seated for at least 20 minutes after finishing, or until the slowest child has finished eating. If children can leave the table when they are no longer hungry, they risk leaving after five minutes.

Finally, it is of course possible to set guidelines for family meals, but be careful not to let it become a moment of discipline. To help you, a reward chart could be implemented until harmony is established at the table.

Here are some examples of rules you could give:

  • Respect for others in actions and words
  • Stay seated
  • Do not play (no toys allowed at the table and no playing with food)

Be consistent and persistent! The benefits will be observed in the long term, so it's best to put it all into practice now. For more tips and tricks to make family meals more harmonious, discover all our tools in our meal survival kit!