The Les Belles Combines philosophy: putting your time and energy where it's needed

Even for those who seem to take it in stride, parenting won't always be kind to us. It's often harder than we imagined, inevitably taking us through stretches of exhaustion and uncertainty. Going back to work after parental leave, bouts of illness, challenging behaviors, the school routine with its endless list of things to think about and prepare, the arrival of a little brother or sister, supporting the development of independence, schoolwork, managing screens, the routine of preparing meals, buying clothes and sports gear, juggling work and family with its transportation and before- and after-school care puzzles, managing the family budget and so many other small commitments that, added end to end, turn into a colossal job that can sometimes wear us out. As a rule, the moments of joy are so strong that the happiness of watching our kids grow outweighs the sheer size of the task we carry every day. Still, there are times when that colossal workload and the joy of watching the kids grow are almost neck and neck. Those are the moments that are the hardest to get through.

Running a family life has become a bit more complicated over time, and it's now subject to a certain perfectionism. When can we ever truly boast of having done our job as parents perfectly? When do we get to give ourselves a nice A+ for a job well done? The task of parenting can easily become a bottomless pit. We could pour all our time and energy into it and still feel we could have done better or done more.

Today, the average parent has access to countless sources of information. They know more about what's good for their children, far more than their own parents ever knew. They know 1,000 ways to stimulate and educate their kids according to modern educational methods and developmental stages, they know about and have pinned to their Pinterest boards 1,000 fantastic techniques for organizing time and space, they know what a balanced diet is and have access to 1,000 incredible recipes, they know the importance of a life that moves toward zero waste and follow 1,000 blogs or podcasts giving them tips to get there, they live in a city that offers 1,000 classes and cultural or sports activities to stimulate their kids, and they follow 1,000 Instagrammers who work out and share minute-long routines to keep fit and get their kids moving.

Let's be frank: the average parent sometimes knows too much, with too many choices and too many sources of inspiration! What seems extraordinary at first can become a nuisance in daily life and can end up in unhealthy perfectionism. Today's parent has to be not only very well balanced but also have a strong personality, excellent self-esteem and a strong sense of priorities so as not to get spread too thin and collapse under social pressure. They have to be capable of discernment and have a good critical mind in order to tell the superfluous from the good, or even from the essential, or to identify what suits them best. I don't think our parents suffered from parenting performance anxiety… It seems to be unique to our generation, and it's important to be aware of it. We can't be everything and do everything; we have to prioritize.

But how do we prioritize when everything seems important? How do we focus on what's essential when all these outside images bombard us and make us want what others have? (Here, I'd be tempted to tell you to close all your Instagram and Facebook accounts, but that would cut you off from Les Belles Combines, which would be a real shame!) We have to keep in mind that of all the things we can control and choose, there are two we can never act on: the time and energy we have. Sadly, it's all too common to spend time and energy on actions that, in the end, will have little or no positive long-term impact on our family life and won't make us any happier or freer.

That's why family structure and the guidance we give our children remain a major issue and should take up a large share of your time and energy. By putting solid foundations in place, you stand to regain a large part of your freedom and a certain serenity, much sooner than you think. Free, serene parents are parents who can laugh and joke, who have more room for a healthy couple relationship and a fulfilling social life, and who foster a sense of attachment in their children. Daily structure and guidance for the kids are also an effective vaccine against challenging behaviors, which are extremely draining and time-consuming. Watching your children thrive multiplies moments of happiness and builds the parenting team's sense of competence. In this way, all the joy of being a parent takes over from the workload and lets us have a calmer, more fulfilling life.

That's the Belles Combines philosophy! Are you on board? Then go for it: stop by the online shop and follow us for plenty of tricks and tips to make your daily life easier!

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