Between quarrels and complicity: managing conflicts between siblings

Obviously, we cannot discuss the topic of relationships without dedicating an article to those that unite brothers and sisters! And when we talk about sibling relationships, we are obviously talking about possible conflicts which, although often stressful and unpleasant, are completely normal and even useful for the development of children.

Why are they arguing?

Having to regularly share space, toys, and even the attention of their parents can quickly become an irritant, for both toddlers and adults! Differences in temperament and personality are also often the source of conflict, while brothers and sisters must live together in spite of themselves, and this at all times of the day, whether they are in a good mood, stressed or tired. Finally, just like in a relationship, children can release the stress experienced during the day by targeting their siblings, not knowing how else to manage their emotions.

To intervene or not?

While, as parents, we often seek to intervene quickly when we see anger rising on both sides, it would be preferable to first let the children try to resolve their conflict themselves , which will allow them to develop their autonomy and creativity by finding solutions to their problems. Obviously, children are still learning, and will sometimes (or often!) need a little help in order to end their argument while remaining calm and peaceful. Moreover, as soon as there are hurtful words or physical aggression, it is always better to intervene without delay in order to make it clear to the children that verbal or physical violence is not permitted under any circumstances.

To help your children and adults manage their conflicts easily and independently, offer them this practical little reminder that you can display for everyone to see to remind them of the steps to follow when an argument arises.

Prevention is better than cure

Even if they are not completely avoidable, it is possible to put in place certain practices which will certainly help to reduce the number of quarrels in daily life .

Share your attention fairly

Children's needs for time and attention vary, and it's important to respect them as much as possible. And if having a large family doesn't always allow for one-on-one time with each child, try to take the time to reassure them of the special place each child holds in your life .

Lead by example

Children often learn by imitation, and conflict management is no exception! So, as adults, make sure to resolve your differences calmly , taking care to name your emotions and looking for solutions to your problem together.

Encourage mutual aid and complicity

Without asking the eldest to be in charge of the younger ones, encourage mutual assistance between each member of the family , and invite them to encourage each other when one of them encounters difficulties. In addition, experiencing activities and vacations as a family will allow children not only to experience moments of collaboration, but also to develop a beautiful bond over time.

Finally, arguments between siblings are unfortunately inevitable, and there is no point in trying to avoid them at all costs. With a little gentleness and listening, learning to manage their conflicts will allow them to develop social skills that are essential for their healthy development !

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