Mom, dad, reassure me!

27 June, 2018

We define safety by the feeling of being "safe" and satisfaction to maintain a " confident and calm ". A simple definition that leaves us with an interpretation in the broad sense and little concrete. The concept of security can include several factors of a physical, psychological, financial, social and emotional. Be part of a relationship and an environment that is non-violent, have a roof and the certainty of being able to feed themselves minimally when you feel the need, it is our physical security. Our professional status, itself, then a net, which provides us with a financial security by giving us access to a stability. Psychological security, it could result in the absence of daily stress which would be generated by a situation of anxiety-provoking spontaneous or repetitive. In the event of such a problem, the happiness of being able to count on a trustworthy person to assist us would rather social security, and emotional. In a child, of course, the security does not reflect quite the same way. At least, this is not the case when its basic needs are met.  Do you remember the time you scraped knee after falling off your bike, you found his face against the ground. You may possibly remember that this are the encouragement, caring for your parents or an adult who is significant who have given you the confidence to go back to biking or you face, a few minutes after an injury that you believe " fatal ". Although your memory is fixed on the chute, the pain or the fear, your sense of security was initially ensured by your attachment. You know, the next auto that you have thrown at this adult once fell for and see his reaction ? Yes, yes, exactly this look-there ! It is the trust that the emotional sphere search to regain their confidence. His role is very valuable, especially at a young age.  So it is with your support that your children will have the feeling of being "out of danger" and that they will have the "confident and calm" to continue to explore blindly the world around them and that they will want to take risks without fear of too great consequence. Because they know they will be caught up during their free fall. It is important to measure your reactions during accidents harmless to your children so that they are not afraid of a second, or a ninth test. Praise their attempts and encourage them to start again and offer to ask you more about them, or be more alert if they do not feel very safe. Conversely, it is important to avoid over-dramatise a situation or to grant any importance to the feeling and the difficulty experienced by the child. He will try his luck again and to meet the challenge only if he feels supported and encouraged by an attachment figure important in his eyes. Your challenge as a parent is to respect the rhythm and the need for support (or not) of your child. Some are very independent and want to learn alone, while others need to try it with all the attention of their brooder. And the two ways to get there are correct.  Enjoy the beautiful weather to go play in the modules to the park, remove the small front wheels or floats in the pool (under your supervision) to solidify your bond with your children and grow in their sense of security.