In 2020, I'm putting my time and energy where I need it!

04 January, 2020

One day, there she is this desire for baby, for family. It resonates in us as an emergency, a visceral need. Listening only to this instinct, we embark with all the naivety of the world in the adventure of parenthood. We welcome this baby with all the love and good intentions that inhabit us, doing everything possible to build him this healthy and reassuring cocoon in which we candidly imagine him to develop safe from all hassle. Even for those who seem to live it more easily, the life of parents will not always be complacent, often more laborious than we imagined, inevitably making us go through episodes of fatigue and uncertainty. Returning to work after parental leave, episodes of viruses, difficult behaviours, school routine with its multitudes of things to think about and prepare, the arrival of the little brother or sister, the development of autonomy to support, school learning, screen management, routine meal preparation, clothing and sporting goods purchases, work-life balance and transportation and child care puzzles, family budget management and so many other small commitments that put end to end take the form of a colossal work that sometimes can exhaust us. As a general rule, the moments of joy are so strong that the happiness of seeing our children grow up surpasses the magnitude of this task that we carry out every day. Nevertheless, there are those occasions when this colossal work and the happiness of seeing the children grow up is almost tied. It's his moments that are the hardest to go through.

The management of a family life has become a little more complex over time and is now subject to a certain perfectionism. At what point can you really boast of having done your parenting job to perfection? When can we give ourselves a nice A-A for the work we've done? The parenting task can easily become an endless chasm. We could put all our time and energy into it and still feel that we could have done better or done more.

Today, the average parent has access to countless sources of information. He knows more about what is good for his children, much more than his own parent knew. He knows 1000 ways to stimulate and educate his children according to modern educational methods and stages of his development, he knows and has pinned on his Pinterest boards 1000 fantastic methods of organizing time and space, he knows what what is a balanced diet and has access to 1000 unimaginable recipes, he knows the importance of a life that tends towards zero waste and follows 1000 blogs or podcast giving him tips to apply to get there, he lives in a city that offer 1000 courses and Cultural or sports activities to stimulate his children, he follows 1000 instagrammers who exercise and share routines minutes to keep fit and move his children.

Let's put it bluntly, the average parent sometimes knows too much, with too many choices and sources of inspiration! What seems extraordinary at first can become a daily nuisance and can be subject to unhealthy perfectionism. The parent of today must not only be very balanced, have a strong personality, have an excellent self-esteem and a strong sense of priorities so as not to scatter and collapse under social pressure. He must be capable of discernment and possess a good critical mind in order to be able to discern the superfluous, the good or even the essential or to identify what corresponds to him more. I don't think our parents were suffering from parental performance anxiety... It seems unique to our generation and it is important to be aware of it. You can't be everything and do everything, you have to prioritize.

But how to prioritize when everything seems important? How to focus on the essential when all its external images assail us and make us desire what others have! (Here I would like to tell you to close all your Instagram and Facebook accounts, but it would be to cut you off from The Beautiful Combines which would be a shame!) We must keep in mind that on all the things that we can control and choose there are two on which we can never act: the time and the energy we have. Unfortunately, it is all too common to devote time and energy to actions that will ultimately have little or no long-term positive impact on our family life, and will not make us happier or freer.

That's why family structure and child care remain a major issue and should mobilize a lot of your time and energy. By building a solid foundation, it is a large part of your freedom and a certain serenity that you may regain, much faster than you thought. Free and serene parents are parents who can laugh and joke, who have more room for a healthy relationship, for a fulfilling social life and who develop a sense of attachment in their children. The structure of daily life and the supervision of children are also an effective vaccine against difficult behaviours, which are extremely energy-intensive and time-consuming. Seeing your children flourish multiplies the moments of happiness and increases the feeling of competence of the parenting team. So all the happiness of being a parent takes over the workload and allows us to have a more zen and fulfilled life.

That's the philosophy of The Beautiful Combines! Do you join it? So get started, go to the online store and follow us for lots of tips and tricks to make your daily life easier!