Being a family and work tightrope walker

24 November, 2017

I like to believe that all mothers are family and work tightrope walkers. Indeed, like the tightrope walkers you can see in the circus (don't you feel like you're in the circus, sometimes, when you come home or at dinner time?), they move on a tight wire and have a balance, to avoid falling. This pendulum is the tool that allows the tightrope walker to increase the moments of inertia during his crossing, and this, in order to advance better. Do you have an effective balance? How do you find your balance? To become a good tightrope walker of family and work, you must have a good balance. A pendulum is what allows us to find a balance in all spheres of his life. We often talk about family and work lives, but we forget personal life (projects and time, just for ourselves), social life, love life and life related to our mental and physical health. Far be it from me to discourage you by announcing that you must find balance, not only in your family and professional lives, but also in all these other aspects. Instead, I encourage you to find your balance in order to better live the work-life balance. For some tightrope walkers, one element that contributes to having an effective balance is the organization. Indeed, being well prepared and organized helps to ensure a certain balance. On the other hand, I have too often seen, in my entourage, super organized mothers (e.g. preparing children's clothes each morning by carefully placing them on the bed to make sure everything is arranged), but exhausted by dint of managing and organizing everything. Yes, you can use a family calendar efficiently and make lists to help yourself, but when you have to do everything alone, without a teammate, it wears out! So you have to find the balance and build on teamwork to ensure the well-being of everyone. For other tightrope walkers, an asset to having a balance that helps them make their crossing is to work four days a week. My observation is that moms do the work five days in four, and who have to use part of their fifth day to rest. On the other hand, some tightrope walkers will find their account with a lighter schedule in their professional life. It's up to you to see if this formula is right for you. It's not so easy to find your balance. If you're looking a little bit at this, you'll find lists of tips and tricks to implement. On the other hand, I sincerely believe that each must find its balance according to its reality and preferences. Here are a few ways to help you find your balance. Choose, instead of letting go We often hear about letting go, for example, of letting go of the perfectly organized and clean house. I prefer the word choice. Why, because when you look at the definition of the word letting go, you read give up, fall, fail... I prefer to choose, I choose, at a specific time in my life, what I need for my balance and that of my family. Take the time to choose, choose what feeds you, what is important to you, your partner and your children. Do I choose to go for a run in the morning before the kids get up (yes, it takes me another effort, but I can't imagine myself without having breakfast with my kids) or going while the kids are getting ready with my spouse? Do I prefer to work overtime to accumulate the money needed for the family trip scheduled for December, knowing that the children will spend a little more time in child care? Choosing, will require a little time for reflection and above all, to put some things aside, because making choices is sometimes heartbreaking. On the other hand, it is important to remember that we have to choose based on the energy and the time we have available, right now. If, at certain points in our lives, some of our choices need to be set aside (e.g. is it realistic to have a laundry room without a pile of laundry with twins and a newborn?), we can remember that we can see them again at other times of no. to be a life. Determine your limits A good tightrope walker knows his limits. Some will make crossings at unimaginable heights, while others will choose less impressive (and yes, we're still talking about choices). Do you know your limits? Some people refuse to enrol their children in more than two sports or cultural activities, to ensure that they have more time for themselves and the family. Stop comparing yourself to your neighbor who has enrolled her little one in piano, soccer and drama lessons! For her, these are her limits and for you, it may just not be appropriate. Avoid judging other families and respect your rhythm and limits, assuming your choices. It's important to determine what works best for you and your children. Taking the time Before you cross your work day and family evening, ask yourself what the tightrope walker needs? Take the time to see what gives you a little boost and allows you to move forward better. For some, a reading break on the train on the way home will be enough, while for others it will be a visit to the training centre. Remember that each has its own pendulum, and that it is a tool to allow you to take breaks during your crossings, in order to move forward better.   The transition from professional life to family life is not always easy, but, like a tightrope walker, everyone learns from his falls. I invite you, from your experiences, to better understand what is the ideal balance for you, reminding you that if you want to move forward better, a break from time to time is essential. These breaks allow us to recharge, but also to readjust. No, there is no miracle recipe, but one thing is certain, if you want to be a good family and work tightrope walker, you have to get to know yourself well, recharge your batteries, in your own way, and choose what is important to you. Have a nice crossing!