Being a tightrope walker between family and work: practical tips for maintaining balance

How to find your balancing pole?

To become a good tightrope walker of family and work, you need to equip yourself with a good balancing pole. A balancing pole is what allows us to find balance in all areas of our lives. We often talk about family and professional life, but we forget personal life (projects and time, just for ourselves), social life, romantic life, and life related to our mental and physical health. Far be it from me to discourage you by announcing that you must find balance, not only in your family and professional life, but also for all these other aspects; instead, I encourage you to find your balancing pole to better manage work-family balance.

Being organized and working as a team

For some tightrope walkers, one element that contributes to having an effective balancing pole is organization. Indeed, being well-prepared and organized helps to ensure a certain balance. However, too often, I've seen super organized mothers in my circle (e.g., who prepare their children's clothes every morning by carefully placing them on the bed to ensure everything matches), but exhausted from managing and organizing everything. Yes, you can use a family calendar effectively and make lists to help yourself, but when you have to do all this work alone, without a teammate, it's exhausting! So, you need to find balance and focus on teamwork to ensure everyone's well-being.

Lightening your work schedule

For other tightrope walkers, an asset to having a balancing pole that helps them make their crossing is working four days a week. My observation, however, is that mothers who do five days' worth of work in four often have to use part of their fifth day to rest. However, some tightrope walkers will find their stride with a lighter schedule in their professional lives; it's up to you to see if this formula suits you.

It's not so easy to find your balancing pole. If you search a bit on the subject, you'll find lists of tips and tricks to implement. However, I sincerely believe that each person must find their own balancing pole based on their reality and preferences. So here are some avenues to help you find yours.

Choosing, instead of letting go

We often hear about letting go, particularly in connection with cleanliness and home organization. I prefer the word choosing. Why? Because when you look at the definition of letting go, you read abandon, fall, fail... I prefer to choose: I choose, at a specific moment in my life, what I need for my balance and that of my family.

Take the time to choose: choose what nourishes you, what is important for you, your partner, and your children. Do I choose to go for a run in the morning before the children wake up (yes, it requires extra effort, but I can't imagine not having breakfast with my children) or to go while the children are getting ready with my spouse? Do I prefer to work overtime to save the necessary money for the family trip planned for December, knowing that the children will spend a little more time at daycare?

Choosing will require a little reflection time and, above all, putting some things aside, because making choices can sometimes be heartbreaking. However, it is important to remember that we must choose based on the energy and time we have available, right here, right now. If, at certain times in our lives, some of our choices have to be put aside (e.g., is it realistic to have a laundry room without a pile of laundry to wash with twins and a newborn?), we can remember that we can revisit them at other times in our lives.

Determining your limits

A good tightrope walker knows their limits. Some will make crossings at unimaginable heights, while others will choose less impressive ones (yes, we're still talking about choices). And you, do you know your limits? Some people refuse to enroll their children in more than two sports or cultural activities, to ensure they have more time for themselves, but also for the family. Stop comparing yourself to your neighbor who enrolled her little one in piano lessons, soccer, and drama! For her, those are her limits, and for you, it may simply not be suitable. Avoid judging other families and respect your pace and limits, by owning your choices. It is essential to determine what works best for you and your children.

Taking the time

Before you make the crossing of your workday and your evening with family, ask yourself what the tightrope walker in you needs. Take the time to see what gives you a little "boost" and allows you to move forward better. For some, a reading break on the train on the way home will be enough, while for others, it will be a visit to the gym. Remember that everyone has their own balancing pole, and that this is a tool to allow you to take breaks during your crossings, in order to move forward better.

The transition from professional life to family life is not always easy; however, like a tightrope walker, everyone learns from their falls. I invite you, based on your experiences, to better understand what the ideal balancing pole is for you, remembering that if we want to move forward better, a break from time to time is essential. These breaks allow us to recharge our batteries, but also to readjust. No, there is no magic recipe, but one thing is certain: if you want to be a good tightrope walker of family and work, you must learn to know yourself well, to recharge your batteries, in your own way, and to choose what is important to you. Happy crossing!

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